He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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