New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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