Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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