I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Congratulations! We have a period
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
