I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
