I think I just saw someone hide a body.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
