Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"

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(216): View more from Ohio

fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.

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(352): View more from Florida

I used to practice getting hit by cars.

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(410): View more from Maryland

He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.

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(302): View more from Delaware

It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

When are you getting back?

(440): View more from Ohio

Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days

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