I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
