you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
