how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Everything about him screamed your future.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
