So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
