Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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