The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
