He is an equal opportunity slut.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
