sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
