just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Someone shattered a urinal.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
