just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
