why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
