Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
