READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
