awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
this hospital has no fireball
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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