Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
