i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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