i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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