Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
