based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
