Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize