Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
