Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
