you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
