we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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