just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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