Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
