She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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