Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
