I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
