Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
