Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
