My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
The adults are the big ones right?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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