Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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