smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
