the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize