I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
