So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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