At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Randomize
