belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
