my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
