Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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