Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
