the condom got lost in my hair
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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