Porn is love you can see.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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