you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
