My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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