I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
