There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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