Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
